Rejection.
I could write a book (probably a book series) on what I have learned in my short 24 years on relationships, love, respect, and heartbreak. None of which I have ever been an open book about. But all of these things are a part of real life. So today I'm talking REJECTION. A few things I have learned (usually the hard way) ,
1. No one is everyone's type.
I hope that you read that twice. And then one more time. Not one person on this earth is the "epitome of beauty". I have a tall guy friend who will only date girls 5'10 & up. I have a girl friend who won't date guys OVER 5'9. Some men like curvy girls. Some women like brown hair. I had a guy friend who was taking a beautiful girl out who was acting arrogant. He told me "I think she thought she was the perfect woman because she was a tall blonde, but guess what, I like short brunettes." LOL
I am so grateful that I am not everyone's type. When I hear my friends say " He's SO cute" & I look over at a guy who isn't my type AT ALL, it makes me smile. I'm so glad that everyone is beautiful and funny and right for someone. If someone isn't interested in you, I promise you, you are JUST what someone ELSE is looking for.
2. There is a right way and a wrong way to end a dating relationship.
Ending a relationship is awful and uncomfortable and no one enjoys it on either side.
I have learned this lesson the hard way many times.
Before Justin, I had been dating around and been on a few dates with a really quality guy. Everything was there but something wasn't adding up for me and I knew I wasn't reciprocating the same feelings he had been giving to me. I tried to communicate it but failed miserably. I spoke in circles, left the door half open, and really just confused us both. In the end, I couldn't cut the cord and I ended up having to have the same conversation AGAIN and it was even more hurtful to him and more difficult for me.
Here's the deal. No one wants to SAY it, no one wants to HEAR it.
But nothing is worse than THINKING there is a chance when there isn't one. Don't do that to someone.
Let's face it. Chances are at this age, breakups aren't some dramatic thing. We are dating great people who may or may not be the right match for us. &that is okay.
Do the person a favor and say it how it is. Rip off the bandaid.
No one wants a fadeout. No one wants false hope.
Be respectful, but be blunt.
& remember, no one is everyones type. But everyone is SOMEONES type.
They will find someone who is their great fit. &you'll find yours.
3.
Set your standards and stick to them...it will feel like rejection but it will save you.
One time someone asked me if I had ever been broken up with. I thought & thought about it and I realized I guess I haven't been (old boyfriends, feel free to correct me here LOL).
But heck, I sure have had the PAIN of a breakup and it dang sure FELT like I got dumped.
Sometimes you will be dating someone who won't be able to give you what you need... and when you discover that, it's time to leave. We will ALL spend more time than we should in a relationship at one point in our lives...that is OKAY. Sometimes it's necessary, live & learn is a real thing.
My biggest lesson is finding what I
really need from a relationship. I thought I needed a man who was 6'2... I don't. I didn't know that I needed a man who was incredibly tender to me...I do. Ha
I thought I needed a guy who was as outgoing as I am, I don't need that. (The world doesn't need that from me LOL) I had no idea I needed someone who is touchy feely, but I totally do!
If you have something on your heart & you need it, stick to it. People either rise to the occasion for your needs, or they don't. And that's okay! They are still good.
Kindly thank them for their "good" and say goodbye. Then find someone who has the "good" YOU need.
4. You don't know till you know.
Take risks.
Now men, I totally empathize with you. For Date Club (Next Dating Chronicles will be on this) we had to ask guys out... I almost DIED. It's SO FREAKING SCARY AND HARD.
Like, do they even want to go out with me? Will they say no? If it doesn't work out will it be forever awkward?
Traumatizing.
But
you don't know till you know.
I never had a CLUE that Justin was interested. I paid him very little flirtatious attention (all while thinking he was a total babe). I didn't know where he stood so I didn't want to even go there. I am a wussy pants & thank goodness HE risked it!!
What do you have to lose by putting yourself out there?
(other than your pride&dignity)
KIDDING!! LOL
You have nothing to lose. If it doesn't work out, refer back to number one.
Dating isn't always easy & rejection isn't ever fun.
But go easy on yourself! No pain lasts forever.
Our worth comes from no opinion here on earth, but from our Heavenly Father who thinks the whole of us.
"I'd rather have a couple ideas fail, than a faith that won't try."
